When last we spoke we were focusing on what I decided to call “normal excess.” It can be really hard, especially from inside the problem, to really differentiate what is “normal” versus what is a problem behavior. There comes a time, however, that the problem behavior is clear and when you look at it honestly, you can’t fail to see it. No matter how much you want to rationalize it away.
I made a nice little image today, by the way, to remind us about what we’re talking about on the abuse continuum (as viewed by Zaz). I’ve gone back and inserted it in some previous posts so that some imaginary future reader will have the full benefit. 
On the continuum, we started with truly social use of food. We’ve covered a kind of gray area between social use and abuse that we’re calling normal excess. I promised you that this time we would get into when abuse is really, really a problem. These are things that fall squarely in the Abuse category. No more excuses.
- Frequently overeating, making poor food choices, eating when not hungry. Once per year on Thanksgiving is not frequent. Several times per month, per week, per day? That’s frequent. The more often you feel out of control, the more likely it’s a serious problem. This holds true for any addictive behavior.
- Overeating is normal. Not only is it a frequent behavior, it’s the new normal for you. Neither you nor the others in your life are surprised when you eat too much, graze, finish off that bag of chips or the whole cookie jar. It may be so normal that no one remarks on it.
- Preoccupation with food. Thinking about getting food, wanting food, planning times to eat, worrying about not having “enough” (not really not having enough, being concerned that what you have will not fill the hole within).
- Using food to medicate feelings. No matter how normal I’d like to believe this is, it’s not. Using food to “numb” feelings of rejection, to stuff down sadness or depression, to hide or punish yourself.
- Early denial or rationalization of your behaviors. If you have to make excuses for why you’re eating something, chances are you don’t need it. This includes rationalizing why it’s okay, just this once and how you’ll do better tomorrow.
- One to three life areas are affected. The affects on your life areas, may be hard to identify at first. It took me years to look back and see where the problems that food caused in my life were occurring. I wanted to believe that those problems were caused by other things, things I had no control over.
It’s hard. We want to see ourselves as normal. Admitting that there is a real problem almost certainly means you need to do something about it. I used to have a Calvin and Hobbes comic up on my wall at my office. Calvin and Hobbes were careening down a snow covered hill and sailing off a cliff. Calvin remarked about how ignorance is bliss because if you see the problem then you have to do something about it and that involves work and work isn’t any fun. Or something to that effect.
[aside]I’ve never found that particular comic in one of the books. If you know where it is, please let me know![/aside] Okay, so there wasn’t snow… Thanks Hannah!
Food Abuse is really a problem when it causes problems in your life, no matter how big or small the problems are. But remember, “Abuse” is on the left side of that heavy black line in the image. Someone who abuses food can re-learn their eating behaviors. They can change. It takes work, it takes motivation, it may take help, but it may be possible for them to learn to deal with food as a “normal” eater.
Many people abuse alcohol during their college years and early adulthood. Some of them have some serious consequences to their drinking. They may get a DUI or miss work or wreck their car or lose a relationship. But many of them grow out of it, for lack of a better way of putting this. Their drinking behavior changes. They may decide it’s a problem, they may just have different priorities as they age. Some of them may even occasionally have a social drink later in life. In the next step along the continuum, Dependency, that change is unlikely to happen spontaneously.
We’ll go there next time and I hope there isn’t as long a time gap as this last post!
