I don’t watch television. That sounds really elitist until I say that I do watch Hulu and Netflix and PBS. I’m less inclined to surf over to independent networks but when I remember, I go try to find the Big Bang Theory. I almost always have something streaming on my second monitor while I’m working on something else. Sometimes that means I don’t see any of the show that’s on, other times it means I’m paying no attention to what I’m supposedly working on.
During the summer, there are a lot of talent shows. You can’t vote when you watch it online – especially when some shows delay the streaming for 30 days. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions.
First and my biggest pet peeve with these shows – if you want to have an America’s Got Talent Junior competition, go for it. But please, please, please stop allowing little children on these talent shows. I’m sick to death of watching talented people get sent home because the voting public is enthralled with cute children. Some of those kids really are talented but no, they aren’t at an adult level. And they shouldn’t be. What is it with parents pushing kids into competitions they can’t win? No one wants to see them cry. And judges – please don’t try to tell me that the six year old ballroom dancers could out-dance adults. Have you ever seen adult ballroom dancing? They’re cute kids and could probably win a juniors competition but really, they have a lot of maturing to do.
And please stop showing me the outrageously horrible auditions. I think a lot of the shows have cut back on these already. I’m not talking about the people who just aren’t as talented as they think, I mean the ones that clearly have no shot and are there just to get on tv for acting like idiots. Don’t encourage them.
And networks? Thirty day delay? Seriously? You want to monetize streaming? Try engaging online viewers. I understand that you prefer that we watch your show on traditional television, it’s how you make the most money. But like newspapers, more and more people are moving to online content. Especially younger viewers. Get smart about it now.
Let’s not leave out the competitors. No one has ever gone on for arguing with the judges. The competitors who stomp off ranting about how great they are and how stupid the judges are don’t impress anyone. I get that you’re disappointed but leave with some grace and dignity. Don’t trash your competition either. Particularly cooking shows. Don’t stand there justifying your failure and try to throw your competition under the bus. That shows no class at all.
Judges, I’ve already ranted about gushing over cute children. Also, don’t tell me you’ve never seen something like X before when last year, someone else did the same thing. And please be smarter than you are. There was a swami act on AGT this summer and anyone can look up on YouTube how that trick is done. It’s a trick, not magic. Magic isn’t real. On that same line, there’s a magician doing tricks that can only be done with a confederate. Which means the judges are in on it. Don’t insult my intelligence.
Also, on the cooking shows? Don’t rant about how you don’t like a particular ingredient and criticize a contestant for using it. And don’t stick your nose up in the air and pontificate on how no one but you knows how to cook pasta. Don’t be a jerk. That should be a rule for all judges. You never have to belittle a contestant. You never have to call your other judges stupid, even when they act stupid. Also, don’t act stupid.
Speaking of stupid, stupid premises and rules need to go away. Use jelly beans, eel, and grass clippings to make a dessert? In what world? Oh, specifically the premise of one cooking show was that they were tasting the food blind. When the contestant subsequently shows up – don’t say how now you wish you’d voted for his food. The whole premise is about the blind taste. What is it about seeing the contestant that changes anything?
I am also tired of the sad story. I’m interested in the talent and I guess I want to know a little about the contestant – but when did that turn into “he who is in the most pain wins”? Everyone seems to have a sad story and you know why? In real life, everyone has a sad story. Every one of us has a sad story. Your sad story doesn’t make you any more talented. Audiences need to stop reinforcing this behavior. Don’t vote for the sad story.
Why do I watch this stuff? Meh, there is a lot I don’t watch. I like cooking and I like talent, but I don’t like all the popularity contest shows. I vote with my mouse and don’t watch the cooking show which has a premise of a mean chef constantly yelling at and berating the contestants. And why do I write about it? Because now and then I must rant about something utterly meaningless.