April 11, 2012

lyrical life

I started Lyrica last Friday – for a huge amount of money, damn deductible – and I think it might be helping the pain. They tell me it takes a week or so to know. My friend, pain, tends to be a bit cyclical and that might make it a little hard to judge. I’m giving it the full month.

It makes me fuzzy. I’m a little light headed, when I roll over in bed I have some really entertaining vertigo, and damn, I’m tired. I fall asleep in the afternoon or after dinner. I have trouble getting out of bed before 10AM. They tell me these side effects will probably go away. On the plus side, I am sleeping a lot better. Or more, anyway.

The lights in Dad’s bathroom keep blowing out bulbs. Cheap bulbs? Maybe. “I haven’t changed those bulbs in years!” he says. Well, about every couple months the last 6 months or so isn’t exactly years but I don’t expect him to remember that. The thing that disturbs me is he is convinced every time that it’s a problem with the breaker. He comes downstairs several times and messes with the breakers. He tells me he can’t figure out what’s wrong with the lights. I change the bulbs and, voila! there is light again. Time before this, he actually changed the bulbs and apparently didn’t get the stupid screws tightened correctly because the very heavy glass globe fell off and scared him. Everything is back together and working tonight so I hope he stops worrying about it and gets a good night’s sleep tonight. I bought, by the way, expensive, name brand, new-fangled fluorescent bulbs. If those die in a couple months, I’m guessing the lights themselves have a problem.

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Filed under Alzheimer's and Dementia, Lyrica

April 9, 2012

netpsychix

It scares me how often than not Netflix is dead on about how much I will like a show. Their best guess for what I will rate a particular show is pretty spot on. If they think I will give it two stars, I might as well not even try it. If they think I will give it 3 1/2 stars or better, there really is a good chance I will enjoy it.

Their recommendations tend to seem pretty off the wall, sometimes. I realize it’s just an algorithm but, based on their stated reasons for their recommendations, they shouldn’t have a clue. You’ll like Loving Lampposts because you liked John Pinette and Kathleen Madigan. How does a drama about a boy with autism relate to a couple of comedians I enjoyed? I might enjoy a My Little Pony show because I liked Doctor Who? What? Those recommendations don’t seem to get me at all.

I watched a biography or two, so therefore I must want to see all biographies. But within the list – there are the guesses about how I’d rate it. So, I don’t want to see all biographies but the ones they guess I will rate 3 1/2 stars or better – well, yeah those are the ones I might actually be interested in.

How do they know? And why do they give me the weird recommendations?

10 Comments

Filed under Quickie

April 8, 2012

oh, the drama

Did you know I kill monsters at night and on weekends and sometimes when I’m supposed to be doing things like cleaning and laundry? Okay, usually I can throw the laundry in and kill monsters while it runs.

I was the Guild Leader of my last guild, mostly because no one else wanted the job. It’s a pretty thankless job, to be honest. Last summer, DRAMA hit the guild, a bunch of people left and the rest of us decided to merge with an alliance guild. It’s been pretty good. I’m just an officer now which is must less stressful. Until, of course, DRAMA hits again.

We’re all adults. You’d think we could handle this better.

I’ve tried to be the calm and rational one, the one that see both sides, the one that puts fires out instead of throwing on buckets of gasoline. And I’m about at my limit. We have one officer/raid leader who periodically incites all this drama. I haven’t seen much drama in the guild that doesn’t involve him. He is a good raid leader. I’ve seen him be helpful to guild mates (when he wants to, unfortunately) and he can be a good guy. He can also be a total ass and shout “Fuck you” at anyone who doesn’t agree with him. There’s more to it, of course, but it boils down to him being rude to people and really not caring what drama he causes. In his world, he’s speaking the truth and fuck anyone who can’t take it.

It’s a game, guys. It’s supposed to be fun. Our charter is very specific about it being fun and not being a place where people are left out or shouted at for not being perfect. Our Guild Leader is on vacation this week – which she richly deserves – and I am left as the sole officer trying to handle this. I seriously don’t need drama in a game I play to relax and blow off steam. I have enough drama in real life.

Today’s Sunday Thought:

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. – e e cummings

How do YOU deal with stress and drama in what is supposed to be a fun and relaxing situation? In my experience, you always have someone like this that you have to deal with – whether it’s your job, your friends or your family. Or your gaming guild. I generally think if someone is unhealthy for me to be around, I try not to be around them. I try to let this kind of behavior roll off me. It’s not worth my time. But sometimes, like now, it’s part of my responsibility to do something about it. And I just don’t know what to do.

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Filed under Sunday Thoughts

April 6, 2012

the heat is gone!

Yes, I know. But it’s been running through my head. I need a nice catchy dance tune to celebrate. Zoe had some continued posing on and off yesterday and she was Miss Cranky Pants at bedtime, but it’s finally over. Thank you all for tolerating my meandering ravings over the last few days. We actually slept last night!

4 Comments

Filed under Kitty

April 4, 2012

mother nature sucks

Why oh why would mother nature do this to a sweet little kitty? And worse, to the person she lives with. I’ve never had a cat in heat before – I’ve never even been around a cat in heat. Male or female, I’ve had my cats fixed as soon as humanly possible. Sadly for Zoe, the vet couldn’t tell for sure if she had been spayed. He thought, based on her tummy, that she had, but he suggested we just wait and see. We’ve been waiting and I’ve been hopeful it wasn’t going to be an issue.

I really feel sorry for her. She isn’t howling, yet, but mews pitifully. Online sources say she’s not in pain, just filled with longing. Can you imagine? We’ve pretty much all had periods of sexual frustration but yikes! At least mother nature didn’t choose to do this with humans.

It took her forever to settle down last night. Catnip seemed to help some and the first time I woke she was snuggled in the cat bed I had sprinkled catnip in. She seems a little more relaxed this morning and I’m hoping this is short and she doesn’t manage to get a second heat in before her surgery.

32 Comments

Filed under Kitty, Notes from Zazzy

April 3, 2012

change of behavior

So this morning Zoe has had a complete change of behavior. She went from “I will bite you if you pet me” to “Pet me Pet me Pet me.” And, of course, she is sticking her butt up in the air while wanting to be pet and rubbed. Ah yes, I think we’ve answered the question of whether or not she has been spayed. (why do I always misspell spayed?)

pet me

Look at that face! That is the face of a kitty who is scheduled for surgery on April 19th.

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Filed under Kitty

April 3, 2012

the stress of quiet

My dad lives upstairs. I live downstairs. It’s hard for me to get up and down the stairs, I think it’s hard for him as well. I stop in upstairs whenever I’m going out – I get to drive up there. I talk to him on the phone. But mostly, I listen. I hear him walking around and I know he’s alive.

Healthwise, he is really doing pretty well. He is on no medication – thank the good frogs since I’d have to actually stand over him and make him take any meds. His bloodwork has been good. He’s incontinent some of the time but I get the impression that is mostly a kind of laziness. He doesn’t get up to go to the bathroom until it’s too late.

Some days, I realize I haven’t heard him move in a long time. I know he sits in his chair and reads or naps most of the day but sometimes, late at night, I try to remember when I last heard him moving around. Sometimes I call upstairs just to see if he’s still alive. I figure 2AM would be a bad time to do that, however. And that’s when it’s stressful. He’s 81. Someday he is going to die and I worry I won’t realize it. It can keep me awake – yet climbing the stairs (or calling) and waking him would be cruel if he’s sleeping.

Last night was one of those nights. His cat was running around at 2AM and I couldn’t remember hearing him getting ready for bed. Had the earbuds on watching a movie. Why is Kitty Kitty running around at 2AM? I worried. And of course, he’s fine.

We’ve managed with this living arrangement for several years. I wonder how long we can continue to do so.

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Filed under Alzheimer's and Dementia

April 2, 2012

damn weird

Sometimes, the answer is right out there. I’ve been complaining about these ridiculous high blood sugars for a couple of months. I don’t usually eat breakfast, yet I spike up to 250 mg/dL before lunch. I drink coffee and caffeine can sometimes cause blood sugar to spike. The thing with diabetes is it’s so damn unpredictable. And everyone is different. I can eat the same number of carbohydrates worth of Doritos and Oreos. Doritos send my blood sugar far, far higher than Oreos. So, the secret is to eat Oreos! Or not.

Anyway, about the coffee. I like to use sugar-free liquid coffee-mate – hazelnut flavor. If I put flavor in my coffee, I like it sweet. If not, just cream. Same with tea. If I use lemon, I like sweetener. If not, plain or with milk. Sugar free coffee-mate has very few carbohydrates and a bit of fat. It seems like the perfect treat. But I’ve been having those stupid blood sugar spikes. So, I tried switching out to fat-free half-n-half and a splash of sugar-free hazelnut flavor syrup. Fat free half-n-half does in fact have a small amount of carbohydrates as well, plus a tiny bit of protein. Maybe it’s the protein that makes the difference? I don’t know, but I also am not having a high spike.

Small change. Really, even a silly change. And still, based on only a couple of days experience but apparently a worthwhile change. Diabetes is just damn weird.

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Filed under Diabetes

March 29, 2012

catching up again

My energy level is really low. This isn’t news but it’s particularly frustrating with all the beautiful weather we’re having. I saw my nurse practitioner on Tuesday and have agreed to try Lyrica. It has the possibility of getting the pain under control which could improve sleep which would improve energy and mood. And the sun will shine every day and peace will come to all people. I went to pick up the prescription yesterday and found that the insurance company requires pre-approval so it’ll be another week or two before I can see if it works. On the one hand, it’s been this long – what’s another week or two. On the other, it nearly reduced me to tears. I did pick up a script for Ambien which is only useful for me on an occasional basis but perhaps will get me a few days better sleep and get me back on track.

It’s been a difficult week with Dad. He got into a loop the other night about taxes and bill paying and the amount of money in his accounts. I go over this stuff with him periodically but he can’t remember and sometimes, we loop through the same 4 or 5 questions every two minutes until my patience runs out. On the sort of plus side, I snapped about his refusal to change his clothes and he finally changed them yesterday. It is hard to be in the same room with him when I can’t breathe because he smells so bad. He suggested putting up signs to remind him and I will do that again. He got mad the last time I did and took them down. They also didn’t actually help but what the hell? They’ve also been digging trenches and putting in the new water lines from the new mains to the houses. He can’t remember what is being done and why so I wrote it down for him. He sits with the paper in front of him and looks toward the noise. “What are they doing? I’d like to know what they are doing?”

I’m working with Zoe on not biting. She’s making progress in some ways but she’s got this idea that first thing in the morning I would really enjoy any part of me sticking out from the quilt to be bitten. I think it’s a game with her. She curls up in my quilt and tries to bite through it, rolling around on her back. It is, however, not amusing. Especially when she goes for my face. But she is making overall progress. Still bites too much, though. When Stasia was Zoe’s age I repeatedly threatened to throw her outside and make her an outside cat. Probably Zo will get through this phase, too.

p.s., The spam has decreased significantly since I reinstalled Bad Behavior. Eight spam in the queue rather than 192. That is really much easier to deal with.

6 Comments

Filed under Alzheimer's and Dementia, Depression, Kitty, Lyrica

March 26, 2012

spring has sprung

parsley

Remember the parsley? It never really died over the winter. Really, isn’t that bizarre? We did have some cold and snow after all.

citronella

The poor citronella. Someone should have watered them more often this winter. Still, they’re pretty hardy. Once they acclimate to being outside again I will cut them back and start more pots.

chives

The chives look better than they did last summer. I bought plants with these biodegradable pots that – at least based on the pot of basil that didn’t come up, didn’t degrade. So the chives don’t seem to have spread. Perhaps the pots will degrade this summer. That’s thyme to the right and I think marjoram coming up behind them.

thyme

Massive amounts of thyme. We could all use more thyme.

leeks

Leeks! They are actually fairly good sized. I will try to thin them and make leek soup. Sounds delicious, eh?

sage and oregano

That’s sage to the left, oregano to the right, and the remnants of the dead basil plant. More basil to come. There’s some space behind them before you get to the catnip. Not sure what I’ll put there. Maybe dill again. I like dill. Didn’t do worth a damn last year.

catnip

Catnip. The neighbor’s cats will be thrilled. There’s some mint down by the sage. Maybe. It could be more catnip. The catnip was crazy last year.

wild carrot

Wild carrot and other weeds. I need to smother the weeds in the upper planting box and …… who knows what I’ll put there. Something that doesn’t require picking because it turned out to be really hard to get to the tomatoes last summer.

6 Comments

Filed under Garden